Overheard: Real Men Share What Attracts Them to a Woman
Find out what really matters
What really attracts a man to a woman? Sure, we've all heard that he notices her eyes first. But we also know that's not really true. Because what guy dates a woman for her eye color?
However, you might just be surprised at what really attracts a man to a woman. Here, real men share what first drew their attention.
It's in her smile
“What I love most about a woman is first and foremost, her smile. There's something incredibly engaging, endearing and sincere about a woman who sends me a smile,” said Jim Dailakis, an actor and writer.
“Many men will condescendingly tell a woman they don't even know to smile, which is ridiculous, of course. The only time a woman should smile is when she wants to. When a woman smiles naturally and because she wants to, I just melt. I think it's also because it suggests she's confident, self-assured and friendly.”
Dailakis said, “If she's intelligent, speaks eloquently and looks like she takes care of herself, these are added desirable attributes. What else do I find appealing about a woman? I'm not going to lie – just about everything.”
Intelligence and brains
“Intelligence is the most important thing in a woman. Of course, she must be physically appealing, young and slim. But since there are many women who fit this criteria, intelligent, career-oriented women are what I seek. I've dated doctors, veterinarians, lawyers, engineers, CEOs, etc., and the occasional Playboy model (not making that up),” bragged Dan Nainan, a 36-year-old NYC comedian.
Meanwhile, Jonathan Bennett, an Ohio matchmaker and dating coach, said, “I, like most men, am first impressed by a woman’s looks. We don’t expect perfection, but it’s very attractive when a woman 'works it,' meaning she finds a way to emphasize her assets. So, a woman who dresses and acts in a confident, sexy way will be very appealing to most men.”
“I find undivided attention from a woman to be very sexy. This means she puts away her phone, leans in, we make eye contact, and then have a fun, flirty conversation with a good deal of playful touching. Being physically attractive is a great start, but it’s not enough. She needs to be able to engage with me in a flirty conversation filled with sexual tension. Now that is hot,” Bennett said.
Personality counts
Nenad Cuk, 28, co-founder and CEO at CroatiaTech, said, “the thing I've gotten to find most appealing in a woman is more and more her personality. Before you roll your eyes, this has always been important to me, but it is multi dimensional. Physical attractiveness amplifies this, and actually makes me more interested overall, but I've met some gorgeous women that were either empty or had nothing else to offer. I consider myself an old soul in a young body, and with that, I'm always thinking ahead. So one thing I decided early on is that physical attractiveness isn't going to be enough for when I'm old with this person. It might be fun in my youth, but as I get older, I want someone that I like as a person.”
Cuk said, “This is where my personality part comes in. We all have things that we like in people. If we think about our best friend, or current spouse, whoever we enjoy spending time with, we already have things we like ingrained in our mind about these people. What I looked for, is someone I would enjoy spending time with outside of any physical activities. A partner I could laugh with, share my stories, successes, failures, wins and losses, and know that they'll not only be there for me, but that they'll react
accordingly.”
Tom Womack, 49, a PR director in Dallas, said, “Where a woman rates on what I call the Coolness Scale is extremely attractive to me. Cool is sexy. It has nothing to with how she looks or dresses, (although that certainly never hurts). Rather, it's more about how does she feel about herself. How easy is she to talk with, spend time with, is she fun to be around without being out of control or excessively needy, is she comfortable with who/what she is, does she give off that certain vibe that says, 'I'm emotionally available and prepared to connect you with on a personal level' without being pretentious or stand-offish. It's not chemistry because it relates to how she projects herself, not how she and a potential partner interact.”
