How to Get More Attention in Online Dating
Become an in-demand woman
Your phone notifies you that you have a new message in your online dating inbox. For just a moment, you feel hopeful that perhaps this guy will be the one. But alas, after reading his profile, you realize he's no different than the last jerk who emailed you.
Face it, online dating can be tough. There's no question about it. Oftentimes, it seems that a handful of women are getting all of the male attention. When there are hundreds, even thousands of women in a city for men to choose from, it can be difficult to stand out.
But don't despair. There are things that you can do to stand out and be noticed. It all comes down to the profile, and the photos you choose.
Stef Safran, founder of Stef and the City dating service in Chicago, shared her tips:
Post great photos
Professionals pictures can make or break getting men to notice you. Use current, attractive pictures that are professionally taken (And not for work purposes). There are so many professionals photographers out there that are reasonably priced and the difference between a 'selfie' or a friend's quick photo taken on a phone is not the same. Have a full body shot as well as a head shot so the guys know what you really look like. Don't forget to have a few outfit changes with your picture session as men are visual creatures.
Write a good profile
Be someone you would want to date. Spend time making sure that your profile sounds interesting! Would you want to date you? Do you offer information to start a conversation? Make sure that your profile is clearly filled out, don't skip section and don't use cliches in your profile.
Have a good attitude
Be positive. Don't be negative about past experiences or some of the creepy guys that might come on to you. Things like “if you are looking for a booty call, go to the next profile” may make a good story with the girls, but don't when you're applying for a new boyfriend.
Keep it fresh
Update your profile every six months and consider trying new dating sites. Not getting the responses you want, it's probably time for a profile makeover and checking out new dating sites. Change your screen name, pictures, everything. It's not much different than looking for a job, if you aren't getting the responses you are looking for- you need to change your cover letter and places you are looking for your next Mr. Right. Remember, just like the bars and events, dating sites also are a business and you might need to see what the new “hot” ones are to find new blood.
Determine what you want
“Depending on the kind of men you are fighting to get online will depend on how you market yourself. A racy sexy boudoir picture with a tag line that reads 'there is nothing sexier than an intellectual conversation' can lead the viewer to believe that she has more than just a great set of this or that,” said Lisa Bahar, a marriage and family therapist.
Have depth to your profile, but light hearted genuine pictures that share different sides to you, she said.
Also important is keeping the mystery alive in the profile. The online experience can be shaped and styled to create an illusion, stay true to you, but have a presence that leads the imagination to wonder what makes you tick, Bahar said.
Don't use filler
Brenden Dilley, relationship coach an author of Still Breathin': The Wisdom & Teachings of a Perfectly Flawed Man, said to stop using cliches in your profile. Don't use, “enjoy traveling, night outs on the town or just as happy curled up on the couch with a good book, love my family and friends, me and my kids are a package deal so you love all of us or none of us, I want a man who appreciates a good woman and blah blah blah blah blah” in the about me sections on dating websites.
“Here's a newsflash. Everyone wants and says the above. Seriously, it's not even gender specific. Who are you? Besides copying and pasting the same words as in 458,000 other profiles, do you bring anything to the table that's unique? Do you collect weird scarfs and donate your time down at the local rabbit shelter? Have you wrestled a giant snake in the Australian outback?”
“We can't fix your appearance, so there are always going to be hotter women who continue to get the majority of the attention. However, there is a huge section of the male population that would love to read a profile that sounds like it was created by an actual human with life experience versus a Barbie doll doing her best to be politically correct,” Dilley said.
“Step it up ladies. Let's see those personalities. If you don't have one, it might be time to develop one.”
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